Getting out the front door

As some all of you know getting out the house with a toddler or even just a baby is bloody effort. I realised today that in 2 weeks I have been late to EVERY appointment. Missed 4 buses. And even turned back half way to baby group as I would have been there a whole 15 minutes maximum. I was going to take O to the park as it was a lovely day, then I looked at the time and realised by the time I had got out the door it would be the school hour with all the older shitheads coming out of school. We will go tomorrow. Maybe.

So the routine of getting out the front door goes a bit like this, this was my exact situation the other day:
- Get O changed out of his first lot of clothes for the day as he's bound to have something on there, 50/50 food or bodily fluids.
- Wrestle his nappy and change of clothes on.
- Spend half hour looking for his other shoe.
- In which time he's probably pooped again. Another nappy change.
- Put in the pram and insist the blanket he keeps kicking off a 1000 times is there for a bloody reason.
- Insist the same about the footmuff. 9 times out of 10 ditch the footmuff.
- Bribe with some type of food. Usually the unhealthy kind.
- Dash upstairs for a pee because well, you never know.
- Think I have done it and push the pram out.
- Remember I've forgot the changing bag. Then that I've left the tippy cup on the side and his lunch.
- Pee again.
- Get out of there now!
- 3 metres up the road wonder if I locked up. Go back and check. Yes I did.
- Half way to the bus stop, realise O does not have a dummy. Run back as fast as my fat legs will take me.
- Rush to bus stop. As I'm nearing it the bus goes past.
- I give up trying.

And you know what? I ALWAYS end up forgetting something!

Moral of this post. You will never be on time with a child. If you don't have a child (I don't know why you're reading this) but don't bother, stick with your cat. Become a crazy cat lady. They don't need nappies or make you need to pee twice before leaving the house.

Its a stay in bed kind of day.