10 rules of being a mother.

These are the rules I have picked up so far in the year of being a Mum:

1. You will never have a full nights sleep again for at least 7 years, Even when grandma baby sits you will wake up convinced someone was crying or calling for you.

2. Everyone but you knows what best for your child. Face it, They've parented their own shithead already. They are masters.

3. You will never eat anything to yourself again. Children have dog's noses, they can smell that chocolate bar from upstairs. You can try hiding in the kitchen but don't think you're safe. Nor will you have a whole hot drink.

4. No-one elses child ever has tantrums when out and about. So when you're in the supermarket and child is screaming expect everyone to look at you in surprise and disgust as they have NEVER seen a crying child before.

5. You will never completely empty your washing basket of dirty clothes. Don't even hope.

6. You will say things you used to laugh at your own mother saying. 'Get away from the t.v, you'll get square eyes' or 'My names not Mum anymore'.

7. You will do the weirdest, ninja style side stepping out of the room your sleeping child is in and you will perfect missing the creaky floorboard.

8. It's all a big competiton. Who buys the most presents, who breastfeeds and who doesn't, who child eats the most vegetables. No matter how good your child is, there will always be one better.

9. Your child will poop whenever you don't take the changing bag. ALWAYS TAKE THE CHANGING BAG.

10. Your child has more of a social life than you do.

Moral of this post? Don't worry and just be happy you have your own little shithead. Why compare who is better? You've kept them alive this long!